Category: Bad Survivalist

The couple that camps together gets mauled together. Never ask for directions but plead for outdoor sex? Every pool is safe for swimming. You are a bad survivalist; blaze your trail for HFR.

Bad Survivalist Fiction: “Body Snatching in the 21st Century” by Mathew Serback

Show some goddamned patience. No one—not even a body snatcher—gets rich overnight. When no one attends the funeral, you might as well leave them to the worms. Anyone worth something draws a crowd—unless the will’s already been read and possessions divided up. The gold teeth aren’t worth it. You might find a silver ring or…
Bad Survivalist: Two Poems by Simon Ravenscroft

Emergence / upon clifftop Ever emerging into further con-vergences of perforated selfhood,one alights occasionally on this orthat compelling instant, truth shimmeringin the open apparently … for a time,for a time … before scuttling away againinto the hills to hide beneath the trees.Reflecting back later, nothing isever so convincing as it wasthe first time, back when…
New Fiction for Bad Survivalist: “EDC” by Kent Kosack

Lesser men leave the house without sparing a second, third, or 464th thought for what they carry. Without a plan, a backup plan, a backup plan should the backup plan prove itself wanting. Not him though. He’s equipped for all contingencies. Prepared. Properly outfitted. Carry for the life you want, not the life you have—that’s…
Three Poems of Bad Survivalism: Sebastian Hunter

The Vintner I saw a lot of miracles on my descent to the gardenInnumerable rodents in crotches of carmine redstained with halos and television antennaeStand close enough and you can pick up messages for the unemployed,calls from one desolate sibling to anotherAt the base of the alder lazes the young vintner,preoccupied with “filtration” and what…
Fiction for Bad Survivalist: “If, Then” by Iryna Somkina

Prologue: SPLIT SECOND “I pierced it myself”. He lifted his shirt to prove it. We weren’t that close—not really. But we shared the same side of the joke more often than not. He once teased me for not getting a kiss I wanted. I got him back—called him by that dumb alias he picked up…
Fiction for Bad Survivalists: “Butterfly Knife” by Joshua Wetjen

My dad waves the shiny blade in front of my face. “This is a real weapon,” he says, patting my fingers closed over the handle. My mom sighs and leaves to help Marnie make dinner in the kitchen. “What’s wrong?” Dad asks. Mom hates all weapons and violence. She hates how I’ve seen all the…
Bad Survivalist Poetry: “All My Ducks” by Charlie Brice

I sit across from the sweet Black womanat my doctor’s office. She’s checking me outafter a visit where I, once again, dodged the bulletsof mortality, bobbed and weaved to avoid morbidity’s blows. I love looking at the tchotchkes on her desk, especiallythe little plastic ducks along the front of her computer.I always say, Looks like…
Bad Survivalist: Four Falling Sonnets by Eugene Ostashevsky

VI. Having children is exploitative. Children may become more than children. Those who have more children before the war, may have fewer after the war. Let us chide both children and the having of children. Having children is expletive. Children may cause lasting damage. To themselves, to everyone around them. They are just not safe.…
Bad Survivalist: Two Poems by Armando Jaramillo Garcia

Metamorphosis With the window open, the room comes to life with a variety of sounds, the street, just outside, I believe is a ventriloquist, making me think all its quarrels and serenades are just behind me. The sun, now riding under the earth, has never set, it just sits there, not thinking but giving off…