High Maintenance
After my mentally ill ex moves out, I, also having moved the mental illness goalpost right off the soccer pitch, start doing things again: using bar soap, taking milk-less jugs to the return-it depot, vacuuming. I drip water all over the bathroom counter if I want. I pull the crown off the tub drain and draw out her matted hair, ending its subterranean sovereignty.
I bond with my carpet. Folex it back to life. Stop scraping it with the fur remover that’s wrecking the pile, give pulled threads a careful trim with scissors. I buy a third vacuum, one with a wide cleaning head and a special pet hair attachment. I’m pet-less, except for the four fish I inherited over the summer in my classroom tank. They’re still alive, despite my back-to-school bad dreams. I carry the cleaner all the way home from Walmart, alternating the bulky box on arms, shoulders, thighs, hip, side of my face, etc. I can’t wait to get home.
Start vacuuming daily, emptying the fluffy gray mess from the canister each day like a disgusting prize. The higher the volume, the closer to God. It’s a good time, too, because most of the furniture is gone. There’s a slight echo in the living room. Still brace when I hear keys jangling down the hallway. I google carpet heights, belts and filters, suction power. Thank fuck this one finally does the job.
Jade McGregor (they/them) is a queer, non-binary writer and educator from British Columbia, Canada. They hold an MEd, a BEd, and a BFA from the University of British Columbia. Their poetry and prose have appeared or are forthcoming in PRISM International, Queen’s Quarterly, Bending Genres, JMWW, BULL, and other journals. Their work has been nominated for Best of the Net. Find them at jademcgregor.com.
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Heavy Feather Review 