Original Poem: “A Message to Meg, from the Dead of Night” by Joe O’Brien

I’m texting you this anachronistic
painting of our favorite TV character
to remind us what memories feel like

I’m following this feed where they mash up old Simpsons gags
with other old Simpsons gags and then mash those up with Sopranos quotes
so I might wring every last droplet of joy that I can
from whatever I can still wrap my head around

I’m snapping this picture of my brazen bewilderment
to see if it clashes with these new combat boots

I’m reassuring my kid that the robots she should fear
aren’t the ones who look like unicorns and disco-dance but the ones that drop
cookie crumbs down Byzantine rabbit holes

I’m recording this message to assure you I’m OK
and I still love you
I just need a couple more months
to decompress, to plow
through the last few seasons of The Phil Donahue Show and reflect on how
we got here from there

I’m hoping you haven’t become one of those people
so obsessed with the past and how much more terrible things used to be that now
it’s like you’re driving around looking
only at the rearview mirror

I’m also hoping you haven’t become one of those people so obsessed with the past
and how much better you think things used to be
now it’s like you’re driving around in reverse
looking only at the rearview mirror

I’m hoping you’re still one of those people just trying to drive on
down the road using rearview mirrors appropriately
obsessed with the past only when it comes
to how much more ass
our music kicked

I’m rehearsing this public apology
to all the perfect people of tomorrow
who will inevitably find me
reprehensible for 15 minutes

I’m six credits shy of my master’s
degree in Bougie Hypocrisy
just two more courses to go: Regurgitating
Incongruous Platitudes and Jumping
Through Foucault-Shaped Hoops

I’m teaching myself to embrace this chronic
mediocrity like an escort
spooning a tender old bastard
just so I don’t keep spending each night
shvitzing in saunas of grievance and regret

I’m drafting new suicide notes weekly
not because I still want to die a lot but just because I miss
the comfort in being grungy

I’m thinking about all those times you’d say, “Quit living in the past, Marge”
and I’d say, “Of course everything looks bad when you remember it”
and you’d say, “Remember when Tony said that thing about
‘the lowest form of conversation’?” and I still never know
what to say next

Joe O’Brien is a writer, musicmaker, public librarian, and Master of Information. They founded FLAPPERHOUSE magazine and served as managing editor during its five-year run. Joe’s writing has appeared in Entropy, Matchbook, Many Loops, Yes Poetry, Rag Queen Periodical, Fuck You Next, and Excuse Me, among other places. Their EP Elastic Hysteria, recorded as Joe Rosewater, is streamable on SoundCloud. They’re @JosephPOB on Instagram and Twitter.

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