Rose Mask is a series of transcriptions of conversations between myself and the customers I served at a cocktail lounge and restaurant in Santa Cruz, CA, during 3 months of masked service due to the pandemic. The work is further framed as an impossible-to-stage work of theater, one that unfortunately plays itself out constantly in real life.
“I love your rose mask. Is that a Guns and Roses type thing?”
“It’s guns or roses. You decide.”
“I assume our appetizer is still coming”
“Dangerous to assume”
I deliver a vodka Bloody Mary garnished with pickled vegetables. I deliver the glass with my right hand, and on my right forearm is a tattoo of a visual poem by Seiichi Niikuni entitled kawa mata wa shu, a series of two repeating kanji characters whose alternation creates the illusion of water and a sandbank.
“Your carrot’s a different color!”
“Artsy!”
“I like your barcode tattoo!”
“Thank you. I’m a product of my society”
“I want the cornbread”
“But honey the fried chicken plate comes with the cornbread”
“But the small plate cornbread comes with the bacon jam”
“Oh yeah get the small plate cornbread then i want the jam”
“I want you to jam me”
“So you’d like one cornbread small plate then”
“It’s our first date”
“It seems to be going well”
“It’s not really our first date”
“So you’d like one cornbread small plate then”
“Excuse me, there’s a hair in my salad”
“You didn’t want a hair in your salad?”
“No”
“Well you should have specified”
“Okay”
“So just to be sure, you want a salad without hair”
“Yes”
“You want a hairless salad”
“Yes”
“Let me see if the kitchen has any of
those in stock right now”
“This is my daughter, she’s lucky she didn’t get that many of my genes”
“Which one of you would you prefer me to insult sir”
“Excuse me”
“Hello”
Person at table of 4 points at adjacent table of 2
“Why did they get their food before us?”
Because there are 4 of you ordering a 4-person amount of food, and 2 of them ordering a 2-person amount of food, and because there’s no god, I don’t say
“Can we get some salt?” asks person at adjacent table of 2
But I haven’t responded to the table of 4 yet, I don’t say
“Jared can I get a rum and soda” says another person at the table of 4
How does he know my name and what kind of power does this give him, I don’t say
“Where are my prawns?” asks person at adjacent table of 3
I don’t know let me check my pockets, I don’t say
“Can we close out now?” asks person at a different but somehow still adjacent table of 2
These tables are too close together, I don’t say
“Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaha” laughs person at original table of 4 who mysteriously knows my name
I wonder when I’ll have a chance to say something out loud, I don’t say
“What’s in the cobbler?”
“Ginger raspberry plum and blackberry”
“Does it come with ice cream?”
“It comes with a whipped cream that we make with our gin”
“The Gin #1?”
“That’s the one”
“Like this one”
Customer points to a bag with a bottle of the Gin #1 inside
“That’s the one”
“She’s a member of the Venus club”
“In a way I’m also a member of the Venus club”
“But you’re more like an indentured servant”
“Is there anything else I can get you all?”
“I think we’re good”
“I think you’re great. Here’s the check”
“It’s like you knew”
“It’s because I did know”
“You seem so confident”
“It’s because it’s my job to project fake confidence”
“You’re very good at it”
Jared Joseph is boring.
Image: shaheenaflowers.com
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