“Ending’s Etiquette” by Lucy M. Logsdon: Poetry for Side A

Ending’s Etiquette

First, I notice fine lines parenthesizing
my once full lips. I google wrinkles.
Learn that over ten on one’s face
means give the fuck up. A strong white
streak appears in my bangs; I cut them
off. They return, spread into

forbidden zones, smooth as scouring
pads. Age spots my hands, forearms,
chest, cheeks, thighs. At parties,
I no longer command attention’s
center. One could say my house
has lost a window—broken glass.

Sweat fills my sheets. My body
odor sharpens. There’s got to be
an insurance man for this.
One who’ll arrive, read my notes,
then calmly assess this aging
structure, this sagging ass.

But craigslist lists no one. I am on
my own, except for books, doctors
and internet. All slyly suggest:
transition. As when a fruit begins
withering or a leaf loses suppleness,
fires one last red, orange blaze.

Screw that fruit. Screw that leaf.
Time for new rules. One: I will bargain
hard to keep up appearances. I will be
the parent of the unwanted, plain,
middle child. Varicose veins,
berserk eyebrows, hear this:

I will fight like the fishwife I am.

Mini-interview with Lucy M. Logsdon

HFR: Can you share a moment that has shaped you as a writer (or continues to)?

LML: Trying to understand the point of existence has always been my primary motivation for writing. The older I become, the more people I have cared for as they died. My younger sister, my mother, key mentors. I do not understand why I am still here. But, for now, I am. Hope is the only thing one can offer at times, & I suppose hope is what has helped me to continue existing here on planet Earth. I hope, then, that my writings are able to communicate the oddity of life, the sheer terror & beauty of it. Losing my beloved former teachers/mentors/friends has been a string of moments currently shaping me as a writer.

HFR: What are you reading?

LML: I read voraciously—I suspect all writers do. Currently, I am reading Christian Wiman’s Zero at the Bone. He’s astounding. You want truth, honesty, bravery with zero frills? Read Wiman. He’s absolutely fearless in his willingness to look death directly in the face.

I’m also reading Way Makers: An Anthology of Women’s Writing about Walking. It’s an incredibly motivating book given to me by my 86-year-old father this past Christmas. He’s an avid hiker—and knows how vital walking is to one’s mental & physical health.

HFR: Can you tell us what prompted “Ending’s Etiquette”?

LML: Aging and a brutal divorce. It can be quite a shock to suddenly feel invisible, less than. On one hand, we know it’s going to happen (the aging), but the actuality of it can still be quite a shock. I realized there are few adequate “etiquette” books on this subject. I just wanted to approach the subject as honestly & directly as possible.

HFR: What’s next? What are you working on?

LML: I am excited to be publishing my first full-length collection of poetry, A Stone in My Shoe. It’s a bit ridiculous that it’s taken me this long, but better late than never. I have never excelled at following any traditional path or timeline.

HFR: Take the floor. Be political. Be fanatical. Be anything. What do you want to share?

LML: The best way to overcome the powerfully negative emotion of fear is through love. Love is a much more powerful force than many realize—it can calm when fear is trying to destroy. I have used this often with animals. All animals can sense fear as well as love. If a horse needs calming, love it. If a herd of cattle become infused with fear, speak gently, speak calmly, move with love—-the herd calms. I’ve used this technique in the classroom as well. One cannot teach if one’s students fear you. The foundation must always be love & respect. These days, I volunteer, I work with my church, I go to hospitals, I ask questions, I try to only help when help is really needed. I am mindful of boundaries. I am mindful of trust. I guess this is one of those life areas where I actually do believe I am sincerely & honestly mindful. I also believe a quiet courage becomes essential in being able to help negotiate these spaces. A willingness to listen, to hear. A courage to be able to be the one watching, not the one watched. Until someone is gone. Then it takes a certain quiet courage to understand that it is once again time to move on.

Lucy M. Logsdon lives in Southern Illinois where she stewards cats, two very large dogs, land, family, and community. Her poetry, fiction, and essays have appeared in such venues as: Contrary, Nimrod, The Southern Poetry Review, Gingerbread House, My Body, My Words, Pure Slush, Drafthorse, Rust+Moth, Heron Tree, Five2One, Seventeen, Poet Lore, Thank You for Swallowing, Right Hand Pointing, and Literary Orphans. Nominations include the Forward Poetry Prize, Best of the Net, and Pushcart. She has taught creative writing and literature for over twenty years. Her first full-length poetry collection, A Stone in My Shoe, is forthcoming this May from Pierian Springs Press.

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